We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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