Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
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