and you said cock pushups were impossible
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
