Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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