so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
