you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
