I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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