I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
