so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
