Me too!
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
