this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
