I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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