You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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