Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
