I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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