Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
So squirting runs in the family.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
