i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
