then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
