just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
