Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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