ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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