Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
