So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
