her vagine was all disorganized.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
