ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
