I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
