I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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