In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
