i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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