Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
