just come out here and I will go home with you...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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