garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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