I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
