4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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