Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
How external is "for external use only"?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
