We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
