I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
