Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
