Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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