Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
