Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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