IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
