He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
