i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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