He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
