good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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