CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
