so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
