i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
