You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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