i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
