So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
